Knowing exactly how to support parents can be tricky, especially when you’re concerned that people won’t follow through with their “speech homework”.
What most people don’t realize is that when homework isn’t getting done, it’s often NOT a lack of motivation.
Many parents I’ve worked with have expressed how overwhelmed they are when getting their kids to do schoolwork.
As a result, any assignments that I’d give them to do don’t get done, which means kids don’t make as much progress as they’re capable of making. Often it’s a daily fight as their kids refuse, dawdle, or struggle to figure out where to start.
The common solution is to give positive reinforcement, but that often doesn’t get to the root of the issue. Things like procrastination, refusal…they’re often a result of poor executive functioning skills.
I share what those skills are and why they’re so powerful in this video:
That’s why the first step to helping parents support their children is to help them understand what executive functioning skills are, so they can start helping their children become more independent with schoolwork.
I’ve created this free guide for parents to help do that.
The bottom line is that we need executive functioning skills to self-manage, do well in school, and function well in adult life.
People who lack executive functioning skills may (Fahy, 2014):
- Need directions repeated multiple times before getting things done or require a lot of reminders and hand-holding.
- Tend to run late or have no sense of time.
- Seem unable to work through the simplest disruptions in their daily routines and apply basic problem-solving skills.
- Get easily thrown off when unexpected things happen.
- Frequently turn assignments in late or lose things.
- Avoid tasks that are challenging and have multiple steps (this could include day-to-day tasks, or it could present in academic tasks).
- Take way longer than is necessary to get things done, or rush through things without proper care.
- Make silly mistakes and seem like they aren’t putting forth a good effort (in school, chores, etc.). For example, when asked to clean their room it’s still a mess an hour later.
- May refuse work or have a low-tolerance for activities that require any sort of effort.
- Be easily distracted and have a hard time controlling impulses (e.g., interrupting, wanting to get up frequently while doing homework, not having a “social filter”).
- Seem unmotivated and unconcerned about the future or anything beyond the present moment.
On the other hand, people with strong executive functioning skills may (Turkstra & Byom, 2010):
Likely to pay attention to important details.
Do work without reminders and put forth and good effort
Show a sense of responsibility and reliability.
Know how to deal with changes to routines or unplanned events.
Know how to “think ahead” and come up with multiple options for working through situations (for example, coming up with a “plan B”).
Monitor and evaluate their own behavior.
Know how to break complex tasks down in to steps so that they know where to start.
Accurately estimate how long a task may take and complete things on time.
Appear organized, efficient, focused, and adaptable. Successful. A go-getter. Reaching their full potential.
On the other hand, people who have strong executive functioning skills are:
There are MANY extremely intelligent, capable kids out there who are underperforming simply because they have underdeveloped executive functioning skills.
But here’s the good news:
Executive functioning is something we can train with practice (Fahy, 2019).
Which means it’s possible for kids to go from underachieving to thriving when they develop the right skills.
The first step to helping kids that happen is learning what the 8 executive functioning skills are and what they look like.
I’ve created a free guide where I outline each of these 8 skills. It’s called “Raising motivated, self-sufficient, organized kids with executive functioning.” You can sign up for a free copy here.
References:
Fahy, J. K. (September, 2019). Relationships between language and executive functions: Planning and regulating. Presentation conducted by ContinuED.
Fahy, J. K. (2014). Language and executive functions: Self-talk for self-regulation. Perspectives on language learning and education, (March, 2014), 61-70. https://doi.org/10.1044/lle21.2.61
Turkstra, L. S., & Byom, L. J. (2010). Executive functions and communication and adolescents. The ASHA Leader, 15. https://doi.org/10.1044/leader.FTR1.15152010.8
